Well, I can't reasonably be expected to be productive today, after I woke up from a dream in which I hooked up with someone.

Every day I wake up thinking, today I'm gonna be productive. And then, this house… it's the house's fault I'm sure. A procrastinating vibe.

S'ils continuent d'être tarés comme ça à la Banque Postale Entreprises, je vais me retrouver sans compte.

I feel really uneasy about something like the pepper-spraying cop becoming an internet joke #oldfart

I haven't been hungry for the last five hours. I must be terribly, terribly sick. I'd better force myself to eat candy.

Il faut que je déménage absolument avant le 31 décembre, je ne veux juste pas m'inscrire sur les listes électorales d'ici.

"I don't care about those things but" it occurs to me that my follower count has stagnated in the past year, unlike everyone else's.

My trip to Paris was supposed to be funded by the sale of my Mini and by the Fund to Keep My Brother Safe in the City. Then why am I broke?

La tentative de réhabilitation de mon congélateur au joint silicone n'est pas très concluante.

Quelqu'un a vu ma paire de chaussettes spéciale essuyage de poussière sur mon écran ?

11/11/11 11:11 will happen twice in many places but only once here, so I'm already so bored with these jokes I can't search for a punchline.

I've added 10GB to my iTunes collection in the past two weeks, and more suggestions are welcome.

Je pouvais les attendre, mes kbis à jour, le greffe n'a traité mon dossier (déposé le 2) qu'aujourd'hui.

C'est exponentiel, le givre dans un congélateur ? Ou s'il givre de plus en plus vite c'est que j'ai une fuite d'air ?

I've worked several hours today and, again, I have no idea how you people do it for days at a time. Damn I'm so bored with this.

I've long known the difference between a good day and a bad day was often the presence of music, but I still keep forgetting it.

Tiens, j'ai laissé mon sac de quinoa Picard sur le micro-ondes toute la nuit. Oh, c'est l'hiver, il est sûrement encore un peu congelé.

This train appears to be full of people who have skipped a couple of nights' sleep. Well, it's also almost empty. (This is not a riddle.)

I don't wanna go back there. You're not gonna make me go back, are you? HEY! DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK OUT THERE!

Suicide de ma CB à la boutique cadeaux. Quand je serai grand mon loft sera entièrement meublé, équipé et décoré au Printemps.

Let you google that for me: how exactly do coffee and other substances trigger bowel movements so directly? #TMI

All these years I spent paralyzed by the stupid fear of hypothetial consequences. Well, except the actually important ones, those I ignored.

I don't usually do this, mais un très grand merci à @fadvil pour une excellente soirée à la Leche. Damn I love clubbing. Damn who'da thunk.