1. Do you have a car?
Nope. I’ve had two cars. Maybe I’ll say more about them later, there’s probably material for a couple of posts there, so I’ll save that for some other time. The question was, do I have one, and I don’t. It’s too expensive, and it’s not like I need one anyway. I mean, I hardly get out of home, so what would I have a car for?

2. Do you drive very often?
See above.
Okay, to be fair, I could drive occasionally even though I don’t have a car, I guess the question would make sense. But I don’t, and I haven’t driven for a couple of years now.
And I do miss it sometimes. Every time I see someone driving, actually.

3. What’s your dream car?
Hmm, I guess it’s been mentioned already. Would be something like a BMW M5. Because I love BMW, because I like a nice big car that can do a 0-300m as fast as a Porsche. Once upon a time I bought Car & Driver so I knew how to write 0-300m in English, but I don’t remember. And I’m not even sure the unit usually used is 0-300m, even in French. Well, nevermind.

4. Have you ever received a ticket?
Sure. I’ve had little parking tickets… You know, for not paying the parking meter and stuff. And then, the occasional speeding. Not that I drove really very fast, but, well, you can’t seriously drive a 80km/h on the Périphérique at one in the morning, can you? No, you can’t, I’m telling you. If you did, that would be the surest way to cause an accident.

5. Have you ever been in an accident?
Well, I can recall accidents when my parents were driving. But on my own, in the couple of years I drove, I only had a car gently bump me because the driver hadn’t seen the light was red. No big deal. And then, I kept scratching and bumping and wrecking the right side of my car against pillars and whatever, because the car was too big for someone who had just gotten his license. Did I tell you what car it was? No, I know I didn’t, I said I’m saving it for later, when you really, really deserve it.